People will always have something to say about you. Sometimes what they say is good, positive, and uplifting. Other times, however, it is mean, hateful, and hurtful. Either way, there is little to nothing that you can do about it. Because people always have something to say, and even more, always have something to say about you. How do you stop words from hurting you?
Words are weapons of the terrified. Everyone suffers from insecurities. But when people allow their insecurities to get the better of them, they use spiteful words as weapons to defend themselves. They put other people down so they can feel better about themselves. They will point out your flaws so people won’t notice theirs. Above all, they divert attention away from their failures and inadequacies by using words to call attention to yours. How do you stop words from hurting you?
Words are weapons of the terrified. When people see you growing, making an impact, movin’ on up, or about to break through, they use their words to slow you down. They know saying the wrong words at the right time will cause you to doubt yourself.
Words are weapons of the terrified. They know their words will echo in your head the same as the sounds of weapons fire. They know you won’t be able to shut their words out. Their words are all you can think about, and they keep you locked up in their broken mind. Even worse, their words will slow you down and ruin your day. So they aim and fire their words in an attempt to lower you to their situation.
Commonly weaponized words used to hurt you:
- You’re fat
- You’re ugly
- No one will ever want you
- You can’t do that
- That’s gay
- You aren’t smart enough
- You suck
- You’re lame
- You hit like a girl
- Man up
- You’re stupid
- You will never amount to much
Words are weapons of the terrified. They use their words to insult you. Even worse, no matter how much you know it isn’t true, you can’t stop it from repeating over and over in your head. So, you allow the hurtful, hateful words of others to take control over your mind. Maybe they slow you down. Perhaps they stop you in your tracks. At worst, weaponized words paralyze you from ever even trying. These words not only rob you of being the best version of yourself, they certainly rob the world of witnessing the best of you.
How Can You Stop Words From Hurting You
How do you defend yourself against someone’s weaponized words? The way people use their words says a lot about their personality. Words have influence, and they have an impact. People don’t give enough thought to their words as they should. People use words as weapons to hurt you, to keep you dumb, to keep you paralyzed. Try these tips to stop the cycle of negative words.
Call them out
People who weaponize words are usually not held accountable. No one has told them to stop or that it was mean. When someone has launched an attack of words against you, call them out.
Respond to their assault by telling them what they said was mean or hurtful. Tell them that wasn’t necessary. When you stand up for yourself, it helps clear the negativity inside your head. You are able to stop words from hurting you. You will feel better expressing yourself. Even more, you will know you did your best to defend against someone’s words.
Take an interest
More often than not, someone uses words as a weapon to protect themselves from being hurt. They might use hurtful words because they have an unfilled need. Or perhaps the only role models they have had spoke to them in an abusive way. Even worse, maybe no one loved them. Weaponizing words is a defense mechanism so remove their need to defend.
Offer praise, find something to compliment, or merely ask if they are doing OK. Responding to someone who is speaking from a broken place in this way lowers their defenses. You disrupt their thought process by responding with kindness. It opens them up to receive love which in turn helps them offer it. The hurt and disappointment they feel are coming out with their words. Try to understand it and empathize with them to stop words from hurting you.
Keep in mind when people use words as weapons it isn’t usually about you
Broken people try to break other people. As mentioned earlier, they are trying to lower you to their level. They don’t feel successful, so they don’t want you to succeed. They aren’t happy so why should you be happy? It could be a symptom of a long life of abuse or experiencing a temporarily negative emotion. So negative that it is causing them pain. So they use their words to lash out at you and say spiteful things out of anger.
When people use their words as weapons, it typically has nothing to do with you. Focus on the fact that they are going through their own thing, and the only way they know how to cope is to cause others to hurt.
Words mean very different things to each of us
We all do our best to communicate how we feel, that we are in pain, that we are scared. We each have sensations running through our bodies in the form of emotions that we are trying to understand. Language is nuanced. It is dependant on how we grew up, so language is far from universal. We place different meanings and values on words based on our life experiences.
The way you took the words someone says might not be the message they intended. For that reason, it is important to clarify. Ponder what their intent was when they used the words that hurt you. Even better, tell them how their words made you feel because you might be surprised at how awful they feel knowing they hurt you.
Don’t permit words to hurt you
People will try to verbally assault, ridicule, and demean you with their words. When someone offers their words, but you don’t respond, who do the words belong to?
People can offer you their words, advice, and opinions. Whether you want it or not, people are always ready to offer their two cents. Their weaponized words can only hurt you if you allow them into your heart and mind.
Practice more self-love
You are at your most powerful when you love and accept yourself fully and deeply. Take time daily to build self-awareness, compassion, and acceptance. Doing so creates a shield so you can defend yourself against the weapons of other people’s words.
Practicing daily self-love heightens your sense of truth which means nothing anyone says will have a meaningful impact on you. You are better able to recognize your emotions and respond appropriately. You are more capable of fostering harmony rather than conflict. Above all, you will heal yourself of your past and stop words from hurting you.
Words are weapons of the terrified. Your parent might offer advice, or your partner could say something hurtful in the heat of the moment. Maybe, your friend provides their opinion on what clothes you are wearing. People will always have something to say, and we all have times where we feel hurt by those words.
When you know yourself, love yourself and respect yourself, you can accept the beautiful parts and the ugly wounds. No one’s words can hurt you. You matter, and the world needs what you have to offer. Trust that you are on your path. Words are weapons of the terrified. Peace within helps you not let words hurt you.
