Arguments are like tennis. Pairs of opponents hit the ball back and forth until someone wins and everyone else loses. Many people think of arguments this way, and as a result, most people avoid them.
When you view a conversation the same way as you do a game, you can win by cheating as long as you don’t get caught. So much so that you are more than happy to convince someone with your lousy argument. Maybe you call their ideas silly or ridiculous. Perhaps you joke about how ignorant they are. None of these approaches help you understand them, their position, or the issues that divide you.
It’s easy to win an argument because you can skillfully marshal an array of one-sided facts, but is that winning? Instead, win because you are right. Win the argument because you took the time to understand the other person’s position and opinions. Win the argument because you are well-informed.
