Self-doubt exists in all of us. Too little self-doubt can be dangerous. Too much self-doubt causes us to be overly cautious and prevents us from taking actions that help us serve others. Far too many people sell themselves short because they allow their fear to fuel their doubt. As a result, doubt wins, and actions go undone.
You don’t pick up the phone and make that call. You stop yourself from inviting someone to lunch or dinner. Or worse, you don’t step forward and ask for that promotion. And you certainly don’t say “enough is enough” to toxic behavior. You don’t say no, yes, push back, move on, or put yourself out there because of self-doubt.
Some people would tell you not to listen to that voice that occupies your mind. Instead of trying to ignore it, name your inner-critic and talk to them. We all already talk ourselves through situations. Self-talk has long been our inner cheerleader, or critic. It helps us see things more objectively.
Naming your inner critic takes their power away. In doing so, you are acknowledging that you are not the problem they are. We don’t have natural defense mechanisms against ourselves the same way we do against external feedback. However, by naming your inner critic allows you to see it for what it is.
Standing up to your inner-critic isn’t about being an overly optimistic cheerleader. It is about placing doubt on their doubt. The next time you are distressed because your inner Virginia is overwhelmingly doubtful, ask them, “but, what if you’re wrong?” Tell her that her doubt doesn’t apply to this situation. Thank her for the feedback and take the first step.
