What Do You Value? How to Discover Your Personal Values

Your personal values are the things that important to your life. They are characteristics and behaviors that motivate and guide your decision-making process. I like to think of personal values as a moral compass. They not only play a role in your decision-making, but they also influence how you interact with others. Consequently, knowing your personal values is essential, and living by them is even more so.

Living your personal values sounds easy. Many people would adamantly say they live by their values. But it isn’t easy, and we aren’t as consistent with living our personal values as we think we are. Do any of these scenarios apply to you?

• Someone did or said something that offended you, but you didn’t speak up. Later you felt guilty for staying quiet.
• You regularly fail to meet the goals you set for yourself.
• You aren’t living the life or aren’t in the career you always thought you would have.
• What you have and what you want couldn’t be more different.
• You are a people pleaser and aren’t aware of your own identity.

No matter which of the scenarios above applies to you, each of them causes you to feel bad about yourself. In doing so, they hold you back, demotivate you, and lower your self-esteem and confidence. These scenarios keep you in a cycle of standing still.

What are the benefits of identifying your personal core values?

Personal values are important, and living them even more so. When you live your values, you feel better about yourself. Your self-confidence improves, which helps you stay focused on the things that are important to you. As a result, you open yourself up to living your best life, achieving your goals, and realizing your dreams.

Personal values guide your behavior and determine how you act and interact with others. Consistently acting in accordance with your values opens you up to experience the best version of yourself.

When you don’t have a set of personal core values, you fall back on bad habits. Additionally, without personal core values, you might fall victim to people who are guided by negative values. Similarly, you won’t easily identify when people’s choices aren’t aligned to the values they claim to hold dear.

Identifying your core personal values benefits you for these reasons:

• Knowing your purpose – because values help you identify what you want out of life
• Guides your behavior – values act as a compass so you can moderate your behavior in all types of situations
• Values help in decision-making – your values guide your decision-making because they help you make choices that help you reach your ambitions
• Increases your confidence – knowing your values provides safety and consistency because you know what is important to you

Know your values so you can know yourself. The values you choose reveal and build character as you act upon them. Follow these five steps to determine your personal core values.

Step One – Create Your Personal Mission Statement

The first step to identifying your values is to create a mission statement. Your personal mission statement defines who you are and why you do what you do. It helps you identify your core values because it brings focus and purpose to your life. On my other blog, you can find the steps to creating your personal mission statement.

Step Two – Brainstorm Your Personal Values

To do this step, you need a good wide-ranging list of values. Your set of core values is unique and influenced by your life experiences. It is worth noting that your values will change as your career and personal life develops. Review the following list for ideas on what your values might be.

Secondly, write down the ones that resonate with you. Feel free to add values that aren’t in the list of examples. Select the ones that you feel most accurately describe your feelings and behaviors. Additionally, you can select personal values you aspire to live by.

Step Three – Get Inspiration From People You Admire to Create Your Core Values

People you admire and respect are a great source to consider when determining your values. Often, when we admire a quality in others, it is because it is something we value ourselves.

Identify the people you admire that are your role model or a valued connection. You could include a family member because of their strength. It could be a boss for their perseverance and dedication.

Likewise, include your everyday heroes. For example, you could admire Oprah Winfrey for her humor, relatability, optimism, and generosity. Note the values that these people personify and add them to your list.

Step Four – Categorize Your Personal Values Into Groups

Now that you have a list of values put them into groups to see what themes emerge. For example, if you wrote down curiosity, growth, learning, and personal development, these are related. So the theme for these values might be a life-long learner.

You can keep all the words under the theme to provide more context to the primary value.

Step Five – Choose the Top Core Values to Narrow Down the List

Take as much time as you need to evaluate your list of personal values. Rank each one in order of importance. The number of values each person has will vary. However, it is best to keep your list between six and eight core values.

If you find your list is larger than eight, ask yourself which values are appropriate for where you are or where you want to be in life. This step can happen over a period of days or even weeks. So, if you find yourself stuck, leave them for a day and come back to them later.

Choosing your core values demands a journey of self-reflection. Therefore, you don’t want to rush through this step.

Knowing your personal values changes your behavior. If you find yourself standing still in life, or failing to meet your goals, follow this process to creating your core values. It is easy to speculate and idealize what you value. However, knowing what you value, accepting what you value, and acting on those values takes effort and determination.

Following this five-step process for discovering your personal core values will bring clarity to who you are. It will help you make decisions so you can be the best version of yourself.